As I rested and waited with my eyes closed, I meditated on the prayer "I am infinite love." I knew that I was safe. I knew that wherever this journey would lead, wherever might happen, I was safe.

As the spirit of the sacrament moved, I felt enveloped by love. I felt very certain that all that there was in the past, is now, and always would be love. I am surrounded by love. There was a strong sense of choosing. I could choose to create the illusion of fear and pain, and live in that, or, have the love. I recognized having spent enough time living in the dark.

When I felt totally certain of my choice... there appeared a series of faces. It was as though I were viewing a slide show. They were all people I was compatible with; I hadn't trusted their intentions in our relationships. Now I had the clarity of knowing that I had never received any less than their total love. The confusion had been my fear and doubt. In the instant that their faces appeared, our relationship healed. The outstanding aspect was the instantaneous awareness and healing.

A long series of vibrations followed. It was as though a spirit moved through all of the meridians, first superficially, then deeper, to release all blocks or barriers. At first it felt like a gentle massage, or rocking. At times the intensity increased, a sense of laser energy moving through the deepest parts of my being.

The higher energy felt like a purification, a sense of being blessed, bathed after a rite of passage. The end feeling was a physical sensation of rebirth... the child of God made known, released from years of accumulated encumbrances. At points there was a feeling of weight lifting off of my body. The armoring, the protection accumulated over my lifetime, lifted, and the opening was bathed in light.

There were visions with many of the releases. I witnessed the choosing of sickness as a way of declaring boundaries, a sense of self - creating pain to avoid pain. I was able to watch myself as a child, interpreting the world and creating a way of dealing with it. With other releases there were feelings rather than visions. Opening up the pelvis released many old messages about sexuality, vulnerability, and protection.

At times there were rooms with doors that opened. One room held what appeared to be a pile of ashes. When the thin layers of ashes were blown away, the room became a bed of crystals. The crystals spent most of the time locked in the room, buried under the ashes. Another room was full of tissue (epidermis), which was tender, with many irruptions and lesions. Spending a moment focusing tenderness, the tissue healed and became baby soft and smooth.

When the vibration and flowing of light diminished, there was a sense of quiet, of small chattering in the mind. I chose to move away from the chatter to see whether there was something that I was avoiding. Was this ego? Was I avoiding darkness, a fear? I floated into a fold, with a sense of moving, flowing inward, softly being swallowed. Quiet. Moving farther in.

I was happy to see my friend. We went home. He commented that I seemed more available than he had ever experienced me. We rested and went to sleep early. I woke frequently during the night. I slept physically and psychically closer to him than before. I had many dreams, many messages, and a few "aftershocks" (spontaneous vibrations).

I've never felt so flexible. My body moved so freely. I felt like an infant who hadn't learned limitations of range of movement or body -- a wonderful feeling. No aches. No tenderness. My body felt open.

My overall sense of the passage was that of an opening, the most incredible move inward. I sense that there is more inward movement to be made -- both with the sacrament and by focusing on the everyday plane.